If your ideal wife is an inflatable effigy of a surprised child, the you're in luck.
Stand out with genuine One Direction duck tape.
For the pleasant smelling philanderer.
Now you can dump with The Trump.
Freshen up with the alluring aroma of bacon.
Life finds a way... into your bathroom.
Handcrafted and lightly perfumed dog shit.
In case of emergency, attach googly eyes.
For the prudent germophobe.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.